so explain again why im purple
no
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
