i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's blow job season.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
