The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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