his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
