i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
