Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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