At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
