Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
