So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
