Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
