C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
