Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
