She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
