I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
