That's when you crack a 10am beer
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
