It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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