We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
