Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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