He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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