I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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