Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
