I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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