So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize