I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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