Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
