my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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