3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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