I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
