Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
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You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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