I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
