If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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