one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize