my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
