Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize