I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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