i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
