Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
