Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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