Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
