He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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