The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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