i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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