oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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