I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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