I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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