My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
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