ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
