Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
