he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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