I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize
