I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
