Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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