I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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