watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
are you so shy because you have an std?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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