yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
