i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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