i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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