it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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