you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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