its not stalking. its research.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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