I'm gonna have a badass scar
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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