All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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